"Don't make old people MAD. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to tick us off." This sign caught my eye recently in an appliance parts store as I tried to make sense of a home repair. As they say, "The road to perdition is paved with good intentions!" The sign was spot on, especially when the project went south.
Resiliency fades as years meander by. Used to run five miles, drive to graduate school 120 miles away and then drive home to work the next morning. Now it's take a nap along the way-preferably not while driving, stop at gas stations, (a biological imperative) and while there, feel obliged to buy a Snicker's bar because you sure didn't need gas for the car.
Emotional elasticity stretches with everything else and doesn't rebound as quickly either. Complexity creates crises, especially when it comes to managing multiple inputs. Listening to Siri tell you to turn left at the next stoplight, changing lanes to get it done, while at the same time grandma tells you about little Bertie's recent catastrophe with macaroni and cheese. This requires juggling responses so there's less of a chance that you'll T-bone the Metro transit bus at the stoplight. Straight lines and routine go a long way toward easing vexation. Keep it simple. Take the turn before the update on Bert.
Then there are those times when we can't avoid being annoyed, when our senses are assaulted. That person you saw waiting for the non-stop Flight 101 from Minneapolis to London's Heathrow (a nightmare in its own right), whom you just happened to overhear at the gate talking to his cousin about Aunt Gracie's gallbladder surgery, is the last to board. Guess where he sits? And you thought the seat would remain empty. Hah! After a few minutes it smells as if he's never been introduced to a bar of soap. Fortunately most airlines still don't allow transatlantic phone calls. Wouldn't that be a treat!
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All of this is influenced by the dance between genes and environment. The genetic highway is there to drive when we start our trip. If the road is smooth, it's pleasant. But if the road has potholes, dips and cracks, it will rattle something loose in our suspension, making it a rougher ride. We become sensitized by experience to what lies ahead and become more easily irritated dodging or swerving around the bumps.
There's a lot to get testy about. The revered American philosopher Whoopi Goldberg once said, "I don't have pet peeves, I have whole kennels of irritation." There are all kinds of ways to end up terminally irritated. Our ability to cope is measured by multiple strategies we keep in reserve to get through a day. Just make sure to get a nap.
