In view of the recent football victory of Iowa over Minnesota, don’t you feel a little bit revengeful? Don’t you want to get rid of some inner angst? Do you want to boycott Iowa? Maybe it’s time for some Iowa, “back at you,” jokes.
As someone who went to school in Decorah and who lived in Mason City for eight years and whose roots are from Iowa, I saved a couple of Minnesota jokes just for my Iowan friends. It’s not healthy to be over revengeful.
- Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Iowa burned down? (Almost took out the whole trailer park.)
- What's the most popular pick up line in Iowa? (Nice tooth.)
- Why did Forrest Gump choose 'Bama over U of Iowa? (He wanted an academic challenge!)
- Why do folks from Iowa go to bars in groups of 18 or more? (17 and under are not admitted.)
- How can you tell the toothbrush is an Iowan invention? (If it were invented anywhere else, we'd call it a teethbrush.)
- Why did Iowa raise the minimum drinking age to 25? (They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools!)
- How can you tell if someone in Iowa is married? (The tobacco spit stains are on both sides of his pickup truck.)
- Why is "The Wave" banned in the Iowa stadium? (Two Hawkeye fans drowned last year.)
- Why did the Iowa regents decide to cover Kinnick Stadium in cardboard? (Because the Hawkeyes always look better on paper.)
- What is the difference between an Iowa graduate and a park bench? (A park bench can support a family.)
- Did you hear about the Iowa farmer who only wore one boot in the winter? (He heard there was a 50 percent chance of snow.)
- Did you hear about that cool thing that just happened in Iowa? (Me neither.)
- Have you read the most recent book on what to see in Iowa? (Don’t bother. It’s filled with blank pages.)
- What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on a May night in Iowa? (It’s high school prom night.)
- Why did the Iowan cut a hole in his carpet? (So he could see a floor show.)
- What do you call a super looking girl in Des Moines? (A visitor.)
- How many Iowa State University freshman does it take to change a light bulb? (None, it's a sophomore course.)
- How can you tell when you've found a really good rock band in Iowa? (They have two accordions.)
- I was at the Miss Iowa beauty pageant last year. (Nobody finished first but a few girls tied for third!)
- What's the only good thing to come out of Iowa? (Interstate 35.)
- What does it say on the bottom of Coke bottles in Iowa? (Open other end.)
Had enough? Okay, here are a few Minnesota jokes for my Iowan friends. I would write more but I just couldn’t find any.
- Why don't the Minnesota Vikings eat cereal? (Every time they get close to a bowl, they choke!)
- Why doesn't Iowa have a professional football team? (Because Minnesota would want one, too.)
- I Heard Minnesota residents are very excited about 2020. (There is a rumor going around that summer may fall on a weekend.)
- Why did the Minnesota Vikings’ team walk into a bar together? (To watch the Super Bowl.)
When I grew up in southern Minnesota, Iowans would come to Minnesota to do one thing, fish bullheads. I guess that says it all. By the way, that’s a good thing. Iowans know how to keep a secret. Fried bullheads are the best!
(I hope my grandmother, who was from Iowa, is having a little chuckle right now as she is kidding my grandfather, who was from Minnesota, about the big Hawkeye victory. No doubt, he is saying, “Wait 'til next year.)
Riddle: What happens when someone moves from Minnesota to Iowa? (The IQ of both states goes up.) When all students graduate from high school in Minnesota and Iowa, we can most assuredly say, the IQs in both states will go up.
100 percent graduation
The most recent businesses to support the 100 percent movement are: Choice Therapy-Bemidji, Viking Commercial Interiors, North Country Food and Fuel, Elevate Medical Solutions, West Wind Resort. Teachers can help graduate 100 percent of students when:
- They put some humor in the classroom.
- They laugh at least once an hour with their students.
- They make it a ritual to tell riddles.
John R. Eggers of Bemidji is a former university professor and area principal. He also is a writer and public speaker.