We live in a world that enjoys selecting the best in everything. We like to choose the best quarterback of all time. We like to choose the best walleye lake. We like to choose the best flower and the best actor or actress. Even the Pioneer got into the act by having you and I select Bemidji’s best in a variety of categories, which I thought was kind of neat.
I am not sure why we are obsessed with the best. Maybe it’s part of the American spirit. Maybe it has something to do with applauding the winners. Maybe it just makes life more interesting.
Here are some categories for you to select your best. This is a good topic for around the dinner table, on a Friday night date, for a school theme paper and just something to talk about during halftime of a Vikings game.
Your best vacation spot. Out of the United States, it would be Turkey, especially the villages along the sea. In the United States, it would be New Mexico. I feel like I am in a different country, and Kathy and I love authentic Mexican food.
Your best sport to watch. I enjoy watching the Vikings on a cold Sunday afternoon while eating popcorn and drinking cold cola. If the Vikings don’t win, I sulk for the rest of the day.
Your best book. I have to pick "Tom Sawyer." I would hate to disappoint my fourth-grade teacher, Miss Barslow, who introduced the class to books.
Your best TV program of all time. I really enjoy "Seinfeld." It had great writing mixed with great comedy actors and yada, yada, yada.
Your best snack food. I love Doritos even though they make your hands orange.
The best car that you owned. I have to return to those thrilling days of yesteryear when I purchased a 1961 Chevy for $200. This was in 1971. You didn’t want to press your feet too hard on the floor because they might go through. It was the first car I ever purchased. Did I mention, you had to drag your feet for the brakes?
Your best movie. This is a tough one but I would have to select the TV movie, "Lonesome Dove." I love westerns and this one is the best.
Your No. 1 food. I really enjoy eating freshly caught fish. Sunfish, crappies, walleyes, perch, northern and bullheads -- they’re all good. Yes, even bullheads.
Your No. 1 favorite actor. It’s a toss up between Al Pacino and Tom Hanks. Matt Damon would be in this category also but how can you get any better than Al Pacino? How about Gregory Peck? Don’t get me started.
Your No. 1 favorite actress. Meryl Streep, Meryl Streep, Meryl Streep. I liked her best in "Out of Africa," also starring Robert Redford.
Your No. 1 fruit. I enjoy every fruit depending on the season. If I couldn’t eat an apple again, I would be disappointed. I can vividly remember after an early morning pheasant hunt with my father and brother when the Sumac was bright red, we would sit in the grass on the side of a field and eat Haralson apples. I sincerely miss those days. Haralsons are always the best after the first frost.
Your No. 1 vegetable. Corn on the cob with lots of butter and salt is one of the best things you can put in your mouth. The best sweet corn comes from southern Minnesota right out of a Green Giant field.
Your No. 1 quote. I would have to go with Anne Frank when she said, “Isn’t it wonderful that nobody need wait a single moment longer before starting to improve the world?” I assume she wrote that while in Amsterdam hiding from the Nazis. Isn’t it amazing that she was still thinking about making the world a better place.
Your No. 1 uncle. I have several but it is Uncle Roger. He died at an early age from complications of multiple sclerosis but all the years while his life was fading away, I never heard him complain about anything. He always looked on the brighter side of things. MS is such a terrible disease. Trump could win the next election just by diverting the defense money to fight MS rather than build a wall. That would be a smarter thing to do and it would be his best accomplishment.
The smartest person you know. I would select my wife, Kathy. I always go to her for advice and nine times out of 10, she is right. Those are pretty good odds.
The best short joke. A Roman Legionnaire walks into a bar and holds up two fingers. “I’ll take five beers,” he says.
Didn’t like that one. How about, “Kathy keeps telling me that I am acting immature. I keep telling her to get out of my fort.”
So, what are your bests? Have some fun. Make up your own categories. I always tell kids, “You’re the best.” You are too!
Riddle: A wife walks into a psychiatrist’s office and says, “My husband keeps acting like a chicken, what should I do?” Psychiatrist says, “Maybe you should bring him in.” The wife says, “I would but I still need the eggs.” This is Woody Allen’s best joke. Having a goal of 100 percent graduation rate is no joke. We can do it. Thanks for your help.
100 percent graduation
The most recent supporters of the 100% movement are: Red Lake Nation Foods, Scott’s Radiator Repair, Bob & Jill’s Used Cars, Lakes and More Realty, Bemidji Property Management, Ruzy’s Bar and Grill, and Bemidji Insurance Plus.
We can achieve our goal of 100 percent when we:
1. make graduating from high school a No. 1 priority.
2. take our kids to football games and soccer games.
3. know the names of our kids’ teachers.
John R. Eggers of Bemidji is a former university professor and area principal. He also is a writer and public speaker.