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GENERATIONS: Doug Lewandowski: Need to take care when you’re a klutz

I bleed a lot. It comes from medications that make it easier for the red stuff to flow through the highways and byways of the body. You don’t want blood to slow down or clog in all those arteries, veins and capillaries. It needs to keep moving. There is downside however to all these chemicals on board . . . if you’re a klutz.

Doug LewandowskiIt’s even worse if you like to fix things without calling in a professional. Putzing around in the garage, shop or yard, cranking on wrenches, ripping oak boards with a dull table saw or screwing things together has consequences of its own. A person can only anticipate so many places where cuts, scuffs and puncture wounds can happen. If there is even a hint of an active lifestyle, there are risks.

If you run or go for walks in the woods, you usually don’t have to worry about an acute injury -- unless there is a stumble or misstep. If this happens once in awhile, call it bad luck. More frequent occurrences start the journey toward klutzhood. Sure, blame it on the crack in the road or that damn tree root on the trail. The result is still the same, scrape, gouge or lesion.

Bikes are a blessing if activity is a value. If balance is good they are easy on joints with smooth motions and little jarring. E-bikes also provide assistance when the challenge of a steep hill presents itself. But watch out for the “turbo” setting. No wheelies for grandma!

The abundance of bike trails separates the biker from the kid in his Honda Civic-R who likes doing doughnut burnouts or sending text messages while commuting on a county road. None of this protects the klutz of course.

Consider mounting or dismounting a bike. Unless there are training wheels or the three-wheeler, getting on and off is pretty easy. The problem comes when leaving for a ride doesn’t happen quickly enough. Then there is tip and crash -- scuff, scrape and bleed.

Even coming to a stop presents its own set of challenges. Then what? A graceful dismount is the most desirable outcome, but what happens when that foot on the pedal doesn’t escape in time from the strap or step in clip? Scratch, scrape and bleed.

Everyday tasks can also be hazardous. Like the fact that Cashwise has a sale on Blue Moon? The prices will NEVER be this low. Stock up!

Carrying two 12-packs in the house at the same time requires strength, agility and common sense. Uh, maybe not common sense, especially if the goal is to get three 12s at the same time to the basement fridge. An unbalanced load? Scrap, scuff and perforation on the nearest rose bush.

Let’s not talk about ladders, gutters or slippery steel siding. . . OK?

With good luck, an older person will not turn out looking patriotic, swaddled in white gauze, displaying blue bruises and raspberry scrapes on a leg. There is always the treadmill.

More of Doug’s writings can be seen at