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Sue Bruns: Typical retired couple’s conversation No. 3: Watching TV

BEMIDJI — Woman (from kitchen): “Hey, what are you watching?”

Husband (from recliner): “Nanook of the North.”

(Woman peeks at TV screen from kitchen.) “Wow, looks like a real oldie. Black and white, even! Love the music and love that kayak!”

“Yeah, that’s a nice one, isn’t it?” (Clicks to new channel.)

“Hey, what happened to Nanook?”

“I have to check the score on the game.” (Sound blares from baseball game. Score is posted in small box in upper left hand corner.)

(From kitchen) “What’s the score?”

“I’m not sure. The box is so little that I can’t tell the 6’s from the 8’s. It’s either 6 to 6 or 8 to 8 or 8 to 6 or 6 to 8.”

(From kitchen) “What inning?”

“Either the 6th or the 8th.” (Clicks to new channel. Sound blares. Announcers comment.)

(Peeking from kitchen) “Oh, I thought you were watching baseball.”

“I was, but this is a really good football game.”

“What’s the sco…? Oh, never mind. What’s happening with Nanook?”

(Clicks back to movie channel.) “Looks like he’s jigging for fish.” (Clicks back to baseball game.)

(From kitchen) “Looks more like he’s trying to steal second.”

“No, that’s the baseball game.” (Clicks back to football.)

“I think you have Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. Can’t you stay on one channel for more than 30 seconds?”

“You’re the one not watching TV because you can’t sit still long enough.”

“Well, when I do watch something, I watch it. I don’t surf from channel to channel. Of course, I’m rarely in control of the remote.” (Baseball game disappears. New channel pops up.) “Ohhhhh! What’s that?”


“Oh, those are interesting. Click on the info.” (Reads from info.) “Hmmmm. Wife snaps and beats husband in Lazy-Boy with remote after ongoing channel surfing.”

“It doesn’t say that!”

“No, but it could happen.”

(Clicking back to baseball game.) “Dang! It’s over. Now I don’t know who won or lost or if the final score was 8 to 6 or 6 to 8.”

(Clicks to movie channel,) “Dang! The movie’s over. I wonder what became of Nanook.” (Clicks to football.) “At least the football game is still on.”

(From kitchen) “Well, it looks like the two-minute warning, so you can count on it lasting at least another half hour. Hey, wait. What was that?”

“A commercial.”

“How’d you let that slip in there?”

“Huh? Did you say something?”

“I’m going to the porch to watch my Netflix movie.”