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Letter: Scramble for digital box shows power of television

,Minnesota 56619
Minnesota P.O. Box 455 56619

You're turning off my TV! How can you do that? Live without my TV? Impossible! How can I do that? That's like living without oxygen. Impossible!

You told me for nearly three years? How did I miss it?

Yes, I watch TV. No, I do not read the newspaper. Read? Who reads anymore? That's for the old days.

But why don't you do it for me? You offered me a coupon to help pay for the transformation? No, you didn't.

But what will I do? Talk to the wife? You've got to be kidding. Play with the kids? Borrring! Go to church? They're all hypocrites. Attend a council meeting? Politicians are all corrupt.

The school is putting on a musical? Inconvenient. I don't want to go out in the cold. BSU has a group of high school kids from all over Minnesota who are giving a concert? Not my kind of music. How do I know? I just do.

Go for a walk? Exercise kills you. Pray? Hey, that's a good idea. Dear Mr. Obama. Please help me. I need my TV. Can't you hear me? I need my TV! OK, it's just an electronic box. But -- it has life-giving blood which I need to live. Who's Karl Marx? Opiate of the masses? I thought it was church. OK, so I did hear somebody mention him.

Television is the opiate of the masses. No way, Sir! No way. There I hear about drunk drivers and snowstorms. What if it's going to snow in the morning? I could just open the door and look outside? You're crazy.

Darfur? I don't know anything about that candy. People starving? They're so far away. The war? Dull. Election? Ya, ya, ya. Don't bother me with the facts.

What am I going to do? Without TV: Die! I can't live without it.

Maybe next time I will listen and get prepared? No way, Sir. I wait for April 15 to get my tax papers out. I can't change old habits.

Then you don't feel sorry for me? Ingrate. See if I vote for you again. Vote? I don't bother. It doesn't make any difference, so why bother. Just fix my TV. Please!

Gerald C. "Jeb" Monge