I grew up actively seeking the Lord. Like a good teenager, I never cursed, drank, smoked or did drugs. My passion for Christ drove me further. Daily, I ate the spiritual food found in scripture, beginning every day with a time of devotion and prayer. In chastity, I saved myself for my spouse, hosted youth group devotionals, taught children's class at church, led women's prayer groups and devoted myself to the church.
Today, my life is pretty much the same. I continue to lose myself in scripture and have dreams of attending seminary someday. However, now I'm treated differently. You see, I am gay and last weekend my wife and I were happily married in Winnipeg.
I remember falling in love and the pain it caused me. I felt lost and condemned after remembering the words from the pulpit that I grew up heeding. In an instant, I lost my friends and every sister in Christ I ever had. I fasted for days, prayed and experienced serious depression. I prayed for the Lord to remove me from this world. Only later, I would learn and understand of the high rates of suicide among homosexuals. For months, I felt dead to myself and only survived by scriptural sustenance and prayer. God had a greater plan for me, and here I am, living it out.
Months later and still confused, I attended a gay pride parade where Christian protesters gathered, expecting to see them praying and trying to talk to those involved. My heart broke and my life changed forever when I saw what they were really doing. They held signs saying, "God abhors you," "You're going to hell," "God Hates Fags" and other horrible things. It was then that I realized this was not Christ's intention. Today, I thank God for those signs, as disgusting as they were, they made me understand the Lord better.
Christ's two greatest commands are: Love the Lord your God with your heart, soul and mind and Love your neighbor as yourself. Which of these have I broken? In purity, I lay with my wife in the Lord's eyes without shame. We fear what we do not know and for that reason, I pray we all understand. In a city such as this, we could all use some education. I pray our children will no longer fear that which Christ does not condemn.