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How do Minnesotans handle the cold weather?

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News Bemidji,Minnesota 56619
Bemidji Pioneer
How do Minnesotans handle the cold weather?
Bemidji Minnesota P.O. Box 455 56619

It's cold in northern Minnesota today. Some folks in the Bemidji area reported wake-up temperatures of 35 below zero. Fortunately, the wind isn't blowing very hard, so the wind-chill index is quite bearable. Ever wonder how Minnesotans put up with such frigid weather? They certainly handle it better than others around the country. For example:


60 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. Minnesotans plant gardens.50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People are sunbathing in Duluth.

40 above zero: Import cars won't start. Minnesotans drive with the sunroof open.

32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in Bemidji gets thicker.

20 above zero: New Mexicans don long johns, parkas and wool hats & mittens. Minnesotans throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero: New York landlords finally turn on the heat. People in Minnesota have one last cookout before it gets cold.

Zero: People in Miami all die. Minnesotans close the windows.

10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico Minnesotans dig their winter coats out of storage.

25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. Girl Scouts in Minnesota still selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero: Washington, D.C. finally runs out of hot air. People in Minnesota let their dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Minnesotans get upset because the Mini-Van won't start.

460 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). People in Minnesota can be heard to say, "Cold 'nuff fer ya?"

500 below zero: Hell freezes over. Minnesota public schools open 2 hours late.

Pioneer staff reports