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John Eggers: Introducing, Simone, The Puppy

They say having two dogs is a good idea for the dogs. They can play together, eat together, sleep together and, it is probably good psychologically for both of them. But what about the sanity of the owners?

Yes, Simon is a dad. His daughter, Simone, is seven weeks old. If you look in the dictionary for the definition of "cute", you will see a picture of Simone. If there are two pictures, she is the one with the stick.

She has been with us now for about a week. She is a true, blue (actually kind of creamy color with reddish ears) puppy who pounces, jumps, stumbles, squirms, cuddles, licks and runs as if she just discovered she has legs.

So how are Simon and Simone getting along? Well, we haven't really let them play together yet or eat together or sleep together. We are trying to bring them together gently. Simon has been such a focus of the family we are worried he might become jealous and get up and take the next passing pontoon boat out of Puposky.

Simon is feeling a little stress. He doesn't seem to smile as much as he did pre-Simone. I think someone could make a pile of money if there were a pet psychologist in Bemidji.

I can just hear the psychologist. "Well, Simon, have there been any changes in your life recently?"

Simon responds, "I see this white furry thing in my old kennel. I could be wrong but it kind of looks like me. Is that possible, Doc?"

Relationships are never easy, with humans or dogs. You have to approach them with TLC. We don't like to be introduced to someone one minute and then the next minute have them move in with you. It takes time to get to know the person or, in Simon's case, the puppy.

Simone has found her first stick. We should have had it dipped in copper like they used to do with baby shoes. Remember when that was popular in the 40's and 50's? I think they made book-ends out of them. We probably could have had the first stick book-ends and my kids could sell them on Ebay 50 years from now as a real oddity.

Of course, then there is Teddy, our cat. If anyone could use a psychologist it would be Teddy. The psychologist speaks, "Well, Teddy, I understand you have been using the tub as a litter box."

"I tell you, Doc, you would too if you had to put up with what I have to put up with. I've had a headache for a week and I keep having these terrible nightmares."

"Can you describe one for me?"

"I dream I am a patient in a hospital. I look up from the table and I see five golden retrievers all wearing surgical masks bending over me. This is a cat's worst nightmare."

"Do you know, Doc, I was in John's office the other day working on his computer. I did the math, we can't afford another dog." I used to be Numero Uno in the family. Now I feel like a zero.

Before long Simon and Teddy will get used to Simone. They will be one big happy family. I should say, "We will be one big happy, crazy as a loon, family."

Like Simon, Simone is a golden retriever. As I said, she could be mistaken for a bottle of whipping cream, she is pretty light colored. I hope there aren't any snowstorms this winter; we wouldn't be able to find her.

She has big dark eyes with a black nose. She could be easily be mistaken as a miniature snow puppy.

Simone came from a litter of six. Marley did a good job of being a very patient and caring mother. She was always there for the pups; she never neglected her responsibility; and she would be a great guest for a TV talk show that questioned dogs about parenting. Marley could give us some good advice.

"So, Marley, what advice could you give all human parents out there in TV land about child rearing?"

"Well be sure and know where your kids are at all times. Feed them healthy food. Let them get out in the air and run around. Above all, keep them warm and safe and don't let them get away with anything. If they do, just bite their ear."

Simone seemed to have learned from her mother. She cleans her plate, does her business in the weeds where no one can step in it (most of the time) and isn't too loud (yet). She hasn't complained about the food or where she sleeps. We have taken away her iPhone. She's just too young to be texting her brothers and sisters.

It's just a matter of time until Simon and Simone will be chasing each other around the yard, swimming together, begging for cheese curds, killing the grass, sitting on plants, jumping on visitors and pestering Teddy.

Yes, we have much to look forward to.